Letting Go of Perfect: What the Swedish Concept of Lagom Can Teach Us
In a world that often pushes us to be faster, better, more, many of us find ourselves stuck in the exhausting cycle of perfectionism. Whether it shows up at work, in relationships, or in how we treat ourselves, perfectionism promises control and success… but often delivers stress, self-criticism, and burnout.
What if there were another way? A gentler, more balanced mindset?
In Sweden, there’s a word that captures this idea beautifully: lagom.
What is lagom?
Lagom (pronounced “lah-gom”) is a Swedish term that roughly translates to “not too much, not too little - just right.” It describes a sense of balance, moderation, and appropriateness. In Swedish culture, lagom shows up everywhere: in how people eat, work, spend time with others, or decorate their homes. It’s about finding the sweet spot - where something feels right, not excessive, and not lacking.
But lagom isn’t about settling or mediocrity. It’s about sufficiency. It’s a quiet confidence in knowing what’s enough - and not chasing more than you need.
Lagom vs. perfectionism
Where perfectionism tells us we’re never quite enough, lagom says: what you’ve done is good. Where perfectionism pushes us to go further, lagom invites us to pause. Where perfectionism breeds comparison, lagom encourages contentment.
Here’s how the two mindsets differ:
Perfectionism:
I must do it flawlessly or not at all.
I’m only good enough if I exceed expectations.
Rest is earned.
Mistakes mean failure.
Lagom:
I’ll do my best — and that will be enough.
Consistency matters more than extremes.
Rest is part of a healthy rhythm.
Mistakes are part of being human.
How lagom can support your mental health
Embracing lagom doesn’t mean giving up on ambition or personal growth. It means learning to live and work in a way that is sustainable and kind to yourself. Many of my clients who struggle with perfectionism find that adopting a lagom mindset helps them:
Reduce anxiety and pressure
Improve self-compassion
Make decisions with more ease
Recover from burnout
Feel more present in daily life
How to begin practicing lagom
You don’t have to change everything overnight. Here are a few small steps to bring more lagom into your life:
Check in with yourself: Ask, “Is this good enough for today?” instead of “Is this perfect?”
Let small be enough: Instead of an hour-long workout, go for a 15-minute walk. Instead of replying to every email, answer the two that really matter.
Build rest into your schedule: Not as a reward, but as part of your rhythm. Take a fika (Swedish-style coffee break). Read without multitasking.
Notice what’s already working: Make a habit of recognizing what feels “just right” - in your day, your relationships, your choices.
Final thought
Perfectionism can be a tough habit to break, especially when it’s tied to self-worth or identity. But lagom offers a gentle alternative. It reminds us that enough is not a compromise - it’s a strength. And often, “just right” is exactly what we need.
If you recognize perfectionistic patterns in yourself and would like support in shifting toward a more balanced, compassionate way of living, I’d be glad to support you.
