What Really Matters in Life? Discovering Your Values as an Inner Compass
This question may sound simple, yet many people find it surprisingly difficult to answer.
At some point, many of us notice: Something feels off. Life seems empty, mechanical, or dictated by to-do lists, obligations, and external expectations. We keep functioning, but the sense of meaning, vitality, or inner direction is missing. That’s where values come in.
What Are Values – And What They’re Not
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values are not about moral rules or “good qualities” you should have. Instead, values are guiding principles; orientation points that help you live more consciously, aligned with what really matters to you.
A value might be connection, honesty, curiosity, care, or growth. Unlike a goal you check off once achieved, a value is a direction - a way you can move forward, again and again.
Think of your values as an inner compass: even if the road is bumpy, they help you navigate toward the life you want to live.
Why Values Matter
When we act in line with our values, we often experience more clarity, motivation, and fulfillment, even during difficult times.
For example:
If responsibility is important to you, it may feel meaningful to stick with challenging tasks.
If you value creativity, you may feel energized when expressing yourself, even if the outcome isn’t perfect.
Values give life depth and direction. They help us set priorities, make decisions, and stay true to ourselves—especially when times are tough.
How to Discover What Truly Matters to You
Perhaps you feel you’ve lost sight of your values. That’s normal - and it’s a good moment to reconnect with them.
Here are a few guiding questions:
Looking back at the end of your life, what would you want to have truly counted?
What qualities do you admire in others? Which traits move or inspire you?
In what moments do you feel most alive, fulfilled, or authentic?
What do you deeply miss when it’s absent, especially in stressful times?
Writing down your answers or talking them over with someone you trust can be powerful. In therapy, exploring values can also serve as a strong anchor.
Living Your Values in Everyday Life
Living by your values doesn’t always mean making huge life changes. Often, it’s the small, intentional actions that matter most. For example:
If connection is a core value: Reach out to a friend who matters to you.
If you value learning and growth: Take 10 minutes to read or try something new.
If self-care is important: Say no to a draining commitment and allow yourself rest.
In ACT, this is called values-based action: taking small steps toward what truly matters, even when difficult thoughts, emotions, or doubts arise.
You don’t need to have everything under control to live by your values. Qualities like courage, kindness, and curiosity can be expressed even in the middle of life’s chaos.
Conclusion: Your Values as an Inner Compass
Your values are a steady guide when life feels overwhelming. They connect you to what defines you - beyond expectations, roles, or external demands.
If you’re asking yourself, How can I live more according to my values?, you don’t have to figure it out alone. In therapy, I can support you in discovering what really matters to you and in finding practical ways to bring these values into your daily life, step by step.
